You have Javascript disabled and this means that the dadcando website cannot function correctly.

If you want to see dadcando's exciting website full of crafts and making things with and for children then you will have to enable Javascript on your browser.

This content requires the Adobe Flash Player and a browser with JavaScript enabled. Get Flash
dadcando - click to return to homepage
Username
Password
Remember?
JOIN HERE   WHY SHOULD I?
Over 200 top tips and words of advice, to help you really get the most from the time you spend with your kids
Divider
Kids growing up /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Coping with change /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Making a new home /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Being involved with your kids /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Be inspired, be inspiring /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Starting again /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Divider
Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles
dadcando
dadcando
Searched for: 12/18/2017 - Found: 7/30/2008 to 8/5/2008
Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.


Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.
Microblog Microblog

Living apart together

Microblog
By Chris Barnardo

Film stars do it, the middle classes have always aspired to it, and now more and more people in relationships are opting for it - in fact, calling two houses, “home” is becoming the norm.
. . . Nowadays however, it’s not just the rich or emotionally progressive who have two homes. Every time a family breaks up and the parents separate, the children find themselves coming to terms with having an extra house they never thought they’d have. If you buy in to the hype, it seems that the potential for domestic dislocation is one of the most troubling issues facing modern children after their parents separate. But is having two homes really a problem? The Government seems to think it is. Unfortunately, it’s this philosophical standpoint itself that causes untold distress for children and parents alike, and probably sits at the heart of 90% of divorce court cases involving the children. It is a problem that the Family Court system has focussed on, and in part at least, one that has helped define its mantra of “mother is best”, in its attempt to minimise what the Government sees as the potentially damaging impact of a child having two places he or she can call home.
. . . The technical term for the living arrangements of children of separated parents, who are able to call both parents’ houses “home”, is Shared Residence. It seems like commonsense that children would want to, and benefit from, being free to view their parents as equals and perhaps even to spend roughly an equal amount of time with both of them. Nevertheless, it is the thought of not having a single, unambiguous base to call home, which has traditionally pushed the Courts away from making Shared Residence Orders the de facto standard. Even though the parent who has had to move out (usually the dad) might quite rightly object to being reduced to an also-ran overnight, actually the judges are only following the Government’s Guidance, which said of a shared residence order:
“…it is not expected that [the shared residence order] would become a common form of order, partly because most children will still need the stability of a single home, and partly because in the cases where shared care is appropriate there is less likely to be a need for the court to make any order at all”.
Of course, like most things it’s not quite that simple. For a start, guidance that was deemed appropriate (although even then slightly old fashioned) 20 years ago, is now completely out of step with society. Like it or not, children are spending an increasing amount of time with their dads, and they are likely to be more confused by the fact that he has suddenly become a second class parent, than by the urge to call his new place “their other home”. Then there are the grown-ups who in ever increasing numbers seem to be happier calling two places home.
. . . Research has found that over the last 20 years, those of us who can choose who we live with, are voting with our feet. The Western World is abandoning the traditional concept of a single home, with millions of people divorcing, moving out or simply, just not moving in with each other in the first place. More and more people are deciding that being happy sharing your life with someone doesn’t necessarily mean having to live in the same house with them all the time, and so are finding that they have two places they call home. In 1978 a Dutch journalist spotted, and then named this emerging social phenomenon LAT (Living Apart Together). In the last 30 years the prevalence of LAT relationships has grown to the point where today it is estimated that in the UK, nearly two million people have LAT relationships, which as it happens, is as many as those who are living together under the same roof (1)(2).
. . . If the current trend continues, it is clear that by the time our children are themselves grown into mums and dads, the number of people living apart together and calling two places home will outnumber people living in a single homes by two to one. Perhaps then it will also be normal for children of separated and divorced parents to have a full and rich relationship with both their parents, feeling loved and secure and at last finally feel that they have come home... to both their homes.



Things you can do to make it better for your kids

Talk to your children about how they feel living in two homes. Let them know that they can tell you how they are feeling and that you will listen. And do listen. Take on board what they say, and if you can change things to make it better for them, then change them.

Have a look at our latest top ten tips article written especially for dadcando by Sophie (11 years old), who gives tips for kids on Living in two houses.

If you want to make your new place feel like a home for your children then have a look at our top ten tips articles specifically on the subject.

How to make your new place feel like home

How to be prepared to be with your kids



(1) Research by John Haskey, Oxford Univesity, 2005 . (2) Research by Professor Sasha Rosenneil, University of Leeds, “On Not Living With A Partner”, 2007.
dadcando

MicroBlog Archive
MyPageMenu
WEEK 14, 2009
Dad… can we make something?
Making something with the kids for homework can turn into a memorable and heroic enterprise.
WEEK 13, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 2
How do you stop an argument if you are already in one, here are our top ten tried and tested ways of halting an argument in its tracks
WEEK 12, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 1
Ten reasons actually why people argue (and that's not including what they argue over) to help you avoid the argument traps and habits
WEEK 11, 2009
Getting ready for a new arrival
When you become a dad for the first time your life changes dramatically,so here are ten top tips on how you can prepare practically for the new arrival
WEEK 10, 2009
Don't say goodbye...
Ten top tips for dealing with all the goodbyes a single dad has to say and keep on saying.
WEEK 9, 2009
Can I do that again?
Think twice before you dismiss your kid's quirkiest comments, because children approach life with such an open mind, that there is often a great deal of sense in even the strangest things they say.
WEEK 8, 2009
Food of the gods
Chocolate isn't all bad, in fact it's mostly good, see our top ten reasons why chocolate is good for you
WEEK 7, 2009
The last thing I remembered was...
Everyone has their own way of recognising the importance of the moment, but here are my top ten tips, conveniently sorted in to Mind, Body and Soul.
WEEK 6, 2009
Caring for a sick child
Caring for a sick child is never easy, but if you are divorced or separated then you might find these top ten tips helpful
WEEK 5, 2009
On Passion, Love and Happy Endings
My top ten couples through history and how they measure up on Passion, Love and Happy Endings
WEEK 4, 2009
Another Place at Breakfast
Introducing a new partner to your kids in the right way can make things so much easier for everyone, read our top ten tips for getting it right
WEEK 3, 2009
What's better than a New Year?
We can learn some good lessons from the traditional values upheld at Chinese New Year, we pick 10 customs that would be worth following.
WEEK 2, 2009
Who needs New Year's Resolutions?
Ten of the best New Year's resolutions designed to help you make 2009 your year.
WEEK 52, 2008
Christmas is here
Christmas is here!
WEEK 51, 2008
Christmas without your kids
Every parent's nightmare and many single dads' reality, is a Christmas Day without your kids. Here are ten top tips on how to have a great Christmas even if you aren't able to see your kids on the day itself.
WEEK 50, 2008
Finding dad a date: Part 2, The Dates
Read the second installment of James's search for a new partner with the help of the Absolute Radio Breakfast Show team
WEEK 49, 2008
Finding dad a date
Finding a date is never easy, but it is doubly hard when you’re a single parent. Read the first part of James's story here
WEEK 48, 2008
Christmas and the kids
10 top tips on how to make the most of the Christmas season with your kids when they don't live with you.
WEEK 47, 2008
What do you do about holidays?
10 practical top tips about how plan and negotiate your access over the holidays.
WEEK 46, 2008
Tackling a teenager
10 top tips on how to maintain a sense of fairness and discipline and yet still managing to remain friends with your teenager through those difficult teenage moments
WEEK 45, 2008
Reliable routines
When parents split up their children’s routines are the first casualty. New routines need to be set up quickly; we've ten top ideas here
WEEK 44, 2008
Rules for Rules
With the right kind of rules kids feel confident, here's our ten top tips for getting getting the rules right in your home
WEEK 43, 2008
Smack or snack
Post separation discipline can turn out to be a problem, so here are our ten top tips for basics of discipline and how to get things working smoothly in your home
WEEK 42, 2008
Getting it right on your first date
Ten tips on how to make sure that a first date turns into a second date
WEEK 41, 2008
Ten great first dates
Where you choose to go on your first date says a lot about you as a person and how you think, so make the most of it with these top ten tips for a great first date venue
WEEK 40, 2008
Getting started with internet dating
Internet dating is a good way to meet new people, so here are some top tips to help you get the most out of online dating
WEEK 39, 2008
How to encourage your kids to read more
So, everyone knows how good reading is for their children, but how do you encourage them to read, or read more. Here are ten top tips to get you started and get your children reading books.
WEEK 38, 2008
The best ten British TV comedy series shows ever
The beneficial effects of laughter 10 of the funniest British TV comedy shows to help start you laughing your way to health
WEEK 37, 2008
Ten ways to be positive
Ten practical ways to be positive when it's tough, from the queen of positive thinking, Dawn Stannard
WEEK 36, 2008
10 ways to grow your kids' creativity
Developing your children's creativity is your job and a very important part of their upbringing, here are ten ways you can help them develop their creativity
WEEK 35, 2008
Relativity: When dark days feel like months
When you are experiencing the trauma of a serious relationship break up, ironically Time seems to slow down, dragging out the pain and making things much worse.
WEEK 34, 2008
Feeding the machine
It's Randomised Variable Interval Reinforcement that makes gamblers gamble and traps normal people in destructive manipulative relationships where they feel unlovable
WEEK 33, 2008
Avoiding pain: Why we stay where it hurts
How can the avoidance of pain be the main human drive when we tolerate so much discomfort in our relationships and our day to day lives?
WEEK 32, 2008
Burning Building
Internet dating is like being in a burning building looking for someone to help get you out, but the only people who can help you are trapped in the same building with you
WEEK 31, 2008
How far have we come?
Humans have been evolving for 1 million years and it's been 10,000 years since Cro-Magnon man developed the family unit, how far have we really come?
WEEK 30, 2008
Who put that cup there?!
What is it that is so seductive about blame? No one is immune to its satisfying qualities and its effects ripple through society at every level. Our kids are an easy target...
WEEK 29, 2008
Winners and Losers?
A thoroughly modern school sports day, that's more about taking part than about making one winner and loads of losers out of us
WEEK 28, 2008
Living apart together
Society is changing, and more and more people have two places they call home, so why is Shared Residence still such an issue?
WEEK 27, 2008
The Children Act, 20 years on, so what's going wrong?
A TV documentary asks what exactly is going wrong with the Children Act, 20 years after becoming law. You can take part and have your say.
WEEK 26, 2008
Mummy says we need a haircut
Do you feel like you're being told what to do by your ex-partner? We explain a little of what's going on and how you can deal with it.
WEEK 25, 2008
Alchemist's Dream
Single parents achieve the alchemist's dream of putting separated things together to turn lead into gold for their kids
WEEK 24, 2008
Happy 100th Birthday, Father's Day
100 years after the first Father’s Day, is this day just another “Hallmark Holiday” or a special time we can use to say what we really mean.
Register with dadcando

Register with dadcando





Advertise on dadcando   |   Site Ethos   |   Privacy Policy   |   Terms and Conditions of use   |   Contact  |   HELP!  |   Follow Chris on twitter  |
Shim© C.Barnardo 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 dadcando ® is a registered trademark.   Content and Design - Chris Barnardo    Technical Development - Darren Tillett

  • http://www.dadcando.com/cl/cl-cheap.asp
  • Authentic 2015 bags belt outlet shop prada 2015 bags belt louis vuitton outlet store 2015 celine outlet replica handbags phantom Celine bag high imitation outlet sale 2015 canada goose expedition parka the best price Authentic 2015 celine replica store handbags wallet Fake cheap celine handbags wallet online official Celine women clutch boston sale online official 2015 canada goose men cheap kensington parka 2015 bags men chloe replica sale 2015 mulberry uk totes bags replica online 2015 celine handbags sunglasses outlet store 2015 boots heels replica store christian louboutin 2015 men outlet canada goose parkas vests Best authentic handbags trapeze replica sale celine