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Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
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Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.
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The Children Act, 20 years on, so what's going wrong?
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It’s been nearly twenty years since the 1989 Children Act became law. Hailed as a piece of enlightened legislation at the time, perhaps it is time to ask whether or not its lofty ideals are being delivered in practice. So, after two decades to bed in nicely, are the high ideals of The Children Act being delivered? Well there are plenty of people who think not, so what is going on?
. . .
Research collated by charity ‘Relate’ suggests that the single most important factor in the long-term emotional wellbeing of a child of divorced parents is their relationship with the non-resident parent and of course, in over 90% of cases, this is the father. Studies show that children with poor or non-existent relationships with their fathers tend to have:
- Lower self esteem
- Higher incidence of behavioural problems
- Higher incidence of stress & mental illness such as depression
- Lower academic achievement
- Higher criminality & substance abuse
- More problems forming relationships with partners
- More likelihood of passing similar problems onto their own children
Separation is a difficult and emotionally draining process, especially when children are involved, and the family courts are intended to facilitate more straightforward dealings between parents so as to best protect the interests of the children. But as anyone who has experienced the mishmash of red tape and officialdom and stomach churning assessment processes, it seems that nothing could be further from the truth. Yet disturbingly, widely recognised estimates suggest that as a result of this and other systemic failures, between 25% and 40% of fathers lose touch with their children within three years of divorce, and when this happens, it’s not just the fathers that lose out.
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In a separate study published last year, researchers found that children came off worst when parents continued to argue over access and ignored their wishes. One fifth of the children surveyed said that they did not have enough say over where they spent their time. High levels of parental conflict are understood to cause serious harm to children. Which in turn has huge consequences for society both now and later on when these children are grown up with families of their own.
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The core principle of The Children Act is that the welfare of the child is paramount – but it’s clear that as a society we are failing to deliver even the most basic rights of children to have the opportunity to maintain and develop a proper relationship with their dads after their parents separate, both in the short term and over a lifetime.
. . .
Perhaps someone is taking notice though. Films of Record, an award-winning production company experienced in making films about complex issues that are both legally and emotionally sensitive is filming a short series of documentaries, following real people and their experience at the hands of the Family Court system. This is a long project and the series is planned to transmit in 2009, to coincide with the twentieth anniversary of the Children Act making it onto the statute book.
You can find more information about the proposed documentary, via this link to the Films of Record website.
The programme-makers are looking for parents affected by these issues who would like to find out more and perhaps be involved with the programme. They are also interested to hear from sons and daughters who have lost contact with a parent after separation or divorce and feel that it has had a significant impact on their lives. Please contact Monika Kosicka, Clare Johns or Yonni Usiskin at Films of Record, by telephone on 0207 286 0333 or by emailing the production team. Getting in touch will in no way commit you to taking part in the series. All information will be treated with the utmost confidence.
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MicroBlog Archive
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WEEK 13, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 2
How do you stop an argument if you are already in one, here are our top ten tried and tested ways of halting an argument in its tracks
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WEEK 12, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 1
Ten reasons actually why people argue (and that's not including what they argue over) to help you avoid the argument traps and habits
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WEEK 11, 2009
Getting ready for a new arrival
When you become a dad for the first time your life changes dramatically,so here are ten top tips on how you can prepare practically for the new arrival
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WEEK 10, 2009
Don't say goodbye...
Ten top tips for dealing with all the goodbyes a single dad has to say and keep on saying.
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WEEK 9, 2009
Can I do that again?
Think twice before you dismiss your kid's quirkiest comments, because children approach life with such an open mind, that there is often a great deal of sense in even the strangest things they say.
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WEEK 8, 2009
Food of the gods
Chocolate isn't all bad, in fact it's mostly good, see our top ten reasons why chocolate is good for you
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WEEK 7, 2009
The last thing I remembered was...
Everyone has their own way of recognising the importance of the moment, but here are my top ten tips, conveniently sorted in to Mind, Body and Soul.
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WEEK 6, 2009
Caring for a sick child
Caring for a sick child is never easy, but if you are divorced or separated then you might find these top ten tips helpful
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WEEK 4, 2009
Another Place at Breakfast
Introducing a new partner to your kids in the right way can make things so much easier for everyone, read our top ten tips for getting it right
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WEEK 3, 2009
What's better than a New Year?
We can learn some good lessons from the traditional values upheld at Chinese New Year, we pick 10 customs that would be worth following.
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WEEK 51, 2008
Christmas without your kids
Every parent's nightmare and many single dads' reality, is a Christmas Day without your kids. Here are ten top tips on how to have a great Christmas even if you aren't able to see your kids on the day itself.
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WEEK 49, 2008
Finding dad a date
Finding a date is never easy, but it is doubly hard when you’re a single parent. Read the first part of James's story here
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WEEK 48, 2008
Christmas and the kids
10 top tips on how to make the most of the Christmas season with your kids when they don't live with you.
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WEEK 46, 2008
Tackling a teenager
10 top tips on how to maintain a sense of fairness and discipline and yet still managing to remain friends with your teenager through those difficult teenage moments
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WEEK 45, 2008
Reliable routines
When parents split up their children’s routines are the first casualty. New routines need to be set up quickly; we've ten top ideas here
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WEEK 44, 2008
Rules for Rules
With the right kind of rules kids feel confident, here's our ten top tips for getting getting the rules right in your home
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WEEK 43, 2008
Smack or snack
Post separation discipline can turn out to be a problem, so here are our ten top tips for basics of discipline and how to get things working smoothly in your home
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WEEK 41, 2008
Ten great first dates
Where you choose to go on your first date says a lot about you as a person and how you think, so make the most of it with these top ten tips for a great first date venue
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WEEK 39, 2008
How to encourage your kids to read more
So, everyone knows how good reading is for their children, but how do you encourage them to read, or read more. Here are ten top tips to get you started and get your children reading books.
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WEEK 37, 2008
Ten ways to be positive
Ten practical ways to be positive when it's tough, from the queen of positive thinking, Dawn Stannard
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WEEK 36, 2008
10 ways to grow your kids' creativity
Developing your children's creativity is your job and a very important part of their upbringing, here are ten ways you can help them develop their creativity
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WEEK 35, 2008
Relativity: When dark days feel like months
When you are experiencing the trauma of a serious relationship break up, ironically Time seems to slow down, dragging out the pain and making things much worse.
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WEEK 34, 2008
Feeding the machine
It's Randomised Variable Interval Reinforcement that makes gamblers gamble and traps normal people in destructive manipulative relationships where they feel unlovable
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WEEK 32, 2008
Burning Building
Internet dating is like being in a burning building looking for someone to help get you out, but the only people who can help you are trapped in the same building with you
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WEEK 31, 2008
How far have we come?
Humans have been evolving for 1 million years and it's been 10,000 years since Cro-Magnon man developed the family unit, how far have we really come?
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WEEK 30, 2008
Who put that cup there?!
What is it that is so seductive about blame? No one is immune to its satisfying qualities and its effects ripple through society at every level. Our kids are an easy target...
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WEEK 29, 2008
Winners and Losers?
A thoroughly modern school sports day, that's more about taking part than about making one winner and loads of losers out of us
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WEEK 28, 2008
Living apart together
Society is changing, and more and more people have two places they call home, so why is Shared Residence still such an issue?
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WEEK 26, 2008
Mummy says we need a haircut
Do you feel like you're being told what to do by your ex-partner? We explain a little of what's going on and how you can deal with it.
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WEEK 25, 2008
Alchemist's Dream
Single parents achieve the alchemist's dream of putting separated things together to turn lead into gold for their kids
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WEEK 24, 2008
Happy 100th Birthday, Father's Day
100 years after the first Father’s Day, is this day just another “Hallmark Holiday” or a special time we can use to say what we really mean.
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