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Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
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Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.
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The last thing I remembered was...
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When I was a child my father told me about one of his patients who came round from a long period of unconsciousness following an accident and immediately asked to be told where he was.
. . .
“The last thing I remember was cleaning my teeth this morning”, he said when he was told that he had been unconscious since having been involved in a road traffic accident on the way to work, over a week earlier.
. . .
As a child it intrigued me to think that every day, every thought or action of that moment might be the last I remembered, or even worse that the last thing I was going to be able to remember was actually already in my past and all of the present and even the thought I was having right then, might be wiped from my memory as if it had never happened, by some random accidental event, as yet unknown, in my future. Over the years, this thought has continued to revisit me on occasion, but I am especially prone to it when I clean my teeth in the morning (for obvious reasons). It still strikes me as odd, that I might blink and open my eyes and suddenly find that instead of looking into a mirror, I am staring up at a hospital ceiling, with no knowledge of what has transpired in the intermission.
. . .
Each time I think this, I resolve to do or think something that if it were to be “the last thing I remembered” it would at least be worthy of that title. In a small way this reoccurring thought has done me a great service over the years. At crucial times it has made me run a sanity check on what I am doing and given me a respect for the things and people that are important to me and my life; and when I needed it most it has helped me rediscover and celebrate the beauty of the moment and put my mental house in order so that I can fully enjoy the day ahead.
. . .
Everyone has their own way of recognising the importance of the moment, but here are my top ten tips, conveniently sorted in to Mind, Body and Soul.
Body
Being aware of body and the environment that surrounds you can help to bring you great peace. Psychologists and Buddhists call it “mindfulness”, the latter believing it to be an essential factor in the path to enlightenment and liberation.
- Look at something properly for a minute and see the beauty in it.
The World's a beautiful place, but it’s easy to forget, so take a minute to look at it and appreciate it; the sky, a drinking glass with sunlight reflecting into it, a blade of grass, or almost anything in fact, and see the beauty in it.
- Drink some ice cold water (preferably carbonated if you have it) and experience the sensation of the water
Focus on the sensation of the cold water in your mouth and going down your throat, it’s amazing how much of the incredible way our body works we take for granted... until it stops working that is.
- Stretch right up to your fingertips and relax
When you stretch, feel right up to the tips of your fingers. Be proud of the space your body takes up in the world and make yourself aware of how you fit into your surroundings.
Mind
Improve your thinking by clearing away even just one of the things that is bothering you and choosing to do something indulgent for yourself.
- Check your diary to make sure that you are up to date sending birthday cards / wishes
Spread a little happiness. If you don’t have time to buy a card, send a text, if you’re too late to send a card, send flowers, they can be sent via the web, on the same day. With happiness, whatever you give out always comes back to you and makes you happier. Don’t forget how important your family and friends are, but also how they need to know that you care about them too.
- Think about and choose a book or film to start reading / watch that week
Treat yourself. Look up something that you’ve always wanted to watch or read and order it online, there’s no better time than now. How cool would it be to be able to say,
. . .
“the last thing I remember was ordering War and Peace, as I was thinking how much I’d always wanted to read it.”
. . . Now who wouldn’t be impressed by that?
- Pay a bill or sort out one piece of paperwork that’s been waiting to be done
Trivial things that we have on our to-do list or at the back of our minds can really pile up, creating anxiety and get in the way of our enjoyment of life. Write a quick list of the bills that need paying or the letters that need writing and then pick one or two. You don’t have to set yourself the target of doing them all. It might be that you need envelopes and stamps before you can even get started, if this is the case, then make getting the supplies one of the list items. Checking even one or two things off the list will make you feel great for the rest of the day.
Soul
Do things that directly connect your friends and family. Don’t leave it too long so that you feel you have to do the “Big Gesture”, just keep in touch, show them that you are thinking of them and that their love and attention make a difference to you. These three points don’t need any explaining, but you may need reminding from time to time.
- Phone your dad and fix up to go out with him or pop round and see him
- Phone your kids just to say hi
- Email an old friend who you haven’t spoken to for ages
Body, Mind and Soul
Music has the ability to connect the mind body and soul and there are some pieces of music that not only do that but can lift you on to a higher plane. En attendant Cousteau is just such a piece.
- Listen to the music track “Waiting for Cousteau” by Jean Michel Jarre
En attendant Cousteau, as it is called in the original French, is not so much music and beautiful ambient sounds embellished with musical droplets, and as such you can get a great deal out of listening to it whatever your taste in music. It’s not a short track, so you will need time, more than 45 minutes of time that is, to listen to it in peace. But do so in a comfortable chair, with no distractions, and I guarantee you will come away refreshed and relaxed like never before.
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MicroBlog Archive
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WEEK 13, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 2
How do you stop an argument if you are already in one, here are our top ten tried and tested ways of halting an argument in its tracks
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WEEK 12, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 1
Ten reasons actually why people argue (and that's not including what they argue over) to help you avoid the argument traps and habits
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WEEK 11, 2009
Getting ready for a new arrival
When you become a dad for the first time your life changes dramatically,so here are ten top tips on how you can prepare practically for the new arrival
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WEEK 10, 2009
Don't say goodbye...
Ten top tips for dealing with all the goodbyes a single dad has to say and keep on saying.
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WEEK 9, 2009
Can I do that again?
Think twice before you dismiss your kid's quirkiest comments, because children approach life with such an open mind, that there is often a great deal of sense in even the strangest things they say.
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WEEK 8, 2009
Food of the gods
Chocolate isn't all bad, in fact it's mostly good, see our top ten reasons why chocolate is good for you
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WEEK 7, 2009
The last thing I remembered was...
Everyone has their own way of recognising the importance of the moment, but here are my top ten tips, conveniently sorted in to Mind, Body and Soul.
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WEEK 6, 2009
Caring for a sick child
Caring for a sick child is never easy, but if you are divorced or separated then you might find these top ten tips helpful
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WEEK 4, 2009
Another Place at Breakfast
Introducing a new partner to your kids in the right way can make things so much easier for everyone, read our top ten tips for getting it right
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WEEK 3, 2009
What's better than a New Year?
We can learn some good lessons from the traditional values upheld at Chinese New Year, we pick 10 customs that would be worth following.
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WEEK 51, 2008
Christmas without your kids
Every parent's nightmare and many single dads' reality, is a Christmas Day without your kids. Here are ten top tips on how to have a great Christmas even if you aren't able to see your kids on the day itself.
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WEEK 49, 2008
Finding dad a date
Finding a date is never easy, but it is doubly hard when you’re a single parent. Read the first part of James's story here
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WEEK 48, 2008
Christmas and the kids
10 top tips on how to make the most of the Christmas season with your kids when they don't live with you.
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WEEK 46, 2008
Tackling a teenager
10 top tips on how to maintain a sense of fairness and discipline and yet still managing to remain friends with your teenager through those difficult teenage moments
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WEEK 45, 2008
Reliable routines
When parents split up their children’s routines are the first casualty. New routines need to be set up quickly; we've ten top ideas here
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WEEK 44, 2008
Rules for Rules
With the right kind of rules kids feel confident, here's our ten top tips for getting getting the rules right in your home
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WEEK 43, 2008
Smack or snack
Post separation discipline can turn out to be a problem, so here are our ten top tips for basics of discipline and how to get things working smoothly in your home
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WEEK 41, 2008
Ten great first dates
Where you choose to go on your first date says a lot about you as a person and how you think, so make the most of it with these top ten tips for a great first date venue
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WEEK 39, 2008
How to encourage your kids to read more
So, everyone knows how good reading is for their children, but how do you encourage them to read, or read more. Here are ten top tips to get you started and get your children reading books.
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WEEK 37, 2008
Ten ways to be positive
Ten practical ways to be positive when it's tough, from the queen of positive thinking, Dawn Stannard
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WEEK 36, 2008
10 ways to grow your kids' creativity
Developing your children's creativity is your job and a very important part of their upbringing, here are ten ways you can help them develop their creativity
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WEEK 35, 2008
Relativity: When dark days feel like months
When you are experiencing the trauma of a serious relationship break up, ironically Time seems to slow down, dragging out the pain and making things much worse.
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WEEK 34, 2008
Feeding the machine
It's Randomised Variable Interval Reinforcement that makes gamblers gamble and traps normal people in destructive manipulative relationships where they feel unlovable
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WEEK 32, 2008
Burning Building
Internet dating is like being in a burning building looking for someone to help get you out, but the only people who can help you are trapped in the same building with you
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WEEK 31, 2008
How far have we come?
Humans have been evolving for 1 million years and it's been 10,000 years since Cro-Magnon man developed the family unit, how far have we really come?
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WEEK 30, 2008
Who put that cup there?!
What is it that is so seductive about blame? No one is immune to its satisfying qualities and its effects ripple through society at every level. Our kids are an easy target...
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WEEK 29, 2008
Winners and Losers?
A thoroughly modern school sports day, that's more about taking part than about making one winner and loads of losers out of us
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WEEK 28, 2008
Living apart together
Society is changing, and more and more people have two places they call home, so why is Shared Residence still such an issue?
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WEEK 26, 2008
Mummy says we need a haircut
Do you feel like you're being told what to do by your ex-partner? We explain a little of what's going on and how you can deal with it.
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WEEK 25, 2008
Alchemist's Dream
Single parents achieve the alchemist's dream of putting separated things together to turn lead into gold for their kids
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WEEK 24, 2008
Happy 100th Birthday, Father's Day
100 years after the first Father’s Day, is this day just another “Hallmark Holiday” or a special time we can use to say what we really mean.
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